The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles
Kindly contributed by Afra Zomorodian
Authored by Bill Atchley (atchley@coltrane.gnets.ncsu.edu)
The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (These are *real*)
Compiled By: Bill Atchley (atchley@coltrane.gnets.ncsu.edu)
- Do You Love As Good As You Look?
- Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?
- Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life.
- Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed.
- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
- Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart!
- Heaven's Just A Sin Away.
- Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind.
- Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me.
- Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.
- Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares.
- How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?
- How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
- How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A
Liar All My Life?
- I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral.
- I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
- I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life.
- I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy.
- I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
- I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It.
- I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me.
- I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
- I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2.
- I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run
So I Figure We Got An Even Deal.
- I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
- I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of Yew.
- I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
- I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up).
- I Meant Every Word That He Said.
- I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
- I Wanna Kiss Her Butt She Won't Let Me
- I Wanna Whip Your Cow.
- I Wish I Were In Dixie Tonight, But She's Out Of Town.
- I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
- I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
- I Wouldn't Take You To A Dog Fight Even If I Thought You Could Win.
- I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy.
- I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him.
- I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite.
- I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue.
- I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home.
- I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The Afternoon.
- I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life.
- I'm Not Married But The Wife Is.
- I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here.
- I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised.
- I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart.
- I've Got Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat!
- I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time.
- I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Back In My Bed While I Cry Over
You.
- I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line.
- If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will.
- If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You.
- If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
- If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
- If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?
- If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight?
- If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low.
- If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You.
- If The Jukebox Took Teardrops I'd Cry All Night Long.
- If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me.
- If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure.
- If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There).
- If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will.
- If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
- It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad.
- It Don't Feel Like Sinnin' To Me.
- It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long.
- Learning To Live Again Without You Is Killing Me.
- Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
- May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose.
- My Every Day Silver Is Plastic.
- My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus.
- My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My
Heart.
- My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him.
- Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby
I Can See Through You.
- Oh, Lord! It's Hard To Be Humble When You're Perfect In Every Way.
- Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed.
- Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill.
- Please Bypass This Heart.
- She Feels Like A New Man Tonight.
- She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.
- She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart.
- She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty.
- She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without.
- Swing Wide Your Gate Of Love.
- Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You
- Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone.
- The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me".
- There Ain't No Waste In My Baby's Love Canal.
- They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out.
- Touch Me With More Than Your Hands.
- Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart.
- What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me).
- When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town).
- When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In.
- Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?
- You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play.
- You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too.
- You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd.
- You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat!
- You Hurt The Love Right Out Of Me.
- You May Put Me In Prison, But You Can't Keep My Face From Breakin' Out.
- You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life.
- You're A Cross I Can't Bear.
- You're Ruining My Bad Reputation.
- You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
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